I'm Taking a Year Off Social Media
Hey friends! Welcome back to my little web home!
It’s been a little while, hasn’t it? This past spring, I had our first baby (who we waited 5 years for!), and then, ya know, there was a pandemic and stuff. So my maternity leave from the blog and the Kindreds Gazette newsletter turned into a shameless pan-ternity leave, and here we are, cozied by our after-Christmas trees and thinking about the year behind and the year ahead.
These few days might be my favorite of the whole year.
There is so much I want to catch you up on, and I hope to post it all in time. But for now, I want to share a little about my decision to spend all of 2021 off of social media - my reasons, my excitement, my concerns, and some specifics on what those boundaries will look like.
I think we can all agree that social media in 2020 has been a total [insert-choice-expletive-phrase-here]. It has felt argumentative, even hostile at times, weirdly socially performative, and more judgmental than ever before. And yet, it has been the year that it has felt the most addicting.
Whether it was the fragile weeks after having a baby that kept me searching for a sense of normalcy and connection, or being physically and socially separated from people during the lockdown, I’m not exactly sure, but I turned to Facebook and Instagram more than I ever have before. You know those weekly screentime reports they give for us iPhone users? Well, I was downright ashamed of mine!
Maybe it was wondering how other people were handling everything that kept me coming back. I searched for the thoughts, beliefs, and opinions of friends, family, influencers, and celebrities about what all has happened this year. What was their take on corona and lockdown and masks and American Christianity today and BLM and the elections? Did their voice provide clarity? Did I agree?
Scroll, read, scroll, process, scroll, get overwhelmed, scroll, feel irritated, scroll to zone out, scroll to see what others think. Judge what others think. Discuss with husband. Feel tired and like I have so much to do and no time or energy to do it.
You might have had a totally different experience with social media in 2020. You might be someone who already doesn’t use it. My struggles and qualms with it aren’t new but were very much amplified this year.
It feels like we’ve become lazier than ever in our relationships while also becoming very comfortable sitting on the judgers perch, taking cheap shots at each other. That’s not the kind of life I want.
I’ve taken one week per month off of social media since the spring of 2017. I’ve known I’ve needed regular time to cut out the noise and weight of others’ constant goings-on and opinions, to give my heart, spirit, and mind a rest. I need regular time to recalibrate what to put my eyes and thoughts on, to get back to caring the most about Jesus’ thoughts and voice, and spending time with Him. It is always such a breath of fresh air and a cup of cool water.
Over the last few months, I’ve heard a whisper in my heart to consider taking an extended time off of social media. Like, a whole year off.
And to be honest, I’ve felt very nervous to commit to that.
At the beginning of December, John took me out on a date to one of our favorite restaurants to talk about our year and what we are looking forward to in 2021. I just blurted out “What if I take the whole year off of social media?” and without hesitation, he chimed, “That sounds great, I’ll do it too.”
The very next day, I was listening to my BFF’s newest podcast episode. She was interviewing another friend of ours who, for all of 2020, did absolutely no extra spending/buying - only the necessities - in order to eliminate debt and have a greater sense of contentment. In tandem with that, their family took the whole year off of social media. She said, “You know, Nancy, I don’t think I’ll ever go back.”
Hearing her words felt like a huge confirmation to me to just go for it and to know that the benefits WILL outweigh anything I might miss out on.
On a quick note, I had already considered my boundaries with Instagram in terms of what all the app hears and indexes for personalized advertisement purposes, and it is my belief that this listening happens regardless of if I have my microphone settings turned off or on within the app. It is also my belief that if what I say and listen to could be used for personalized advertisements, it is possible and, in my opinion, probable that it could all be used for more unsavory purposes. When IG (owned by FB) announced the update to their Terms of Use (effective December 20th, 2020) I read through it, and it became clear to me that this isn’t an app I want to participate in for a while.
It was a confirmation to me, and I felt more relieved than anything. Not afraid or worked up, just full of peace and confidence. This feels so right for me right now, and I’m excited to enjoy it!
Griffin’s face in this pic!
The Parameters:
I won’t be deleting my FB or my IG accounts, but I will delete the apps. I will not access these apps in any way, from any device for the whole year. The social media apps I’m including are FB and IG. I don’t use Twitter or Parler or LinkedIn. I’ll still be using Pinterest (primarily from Desktop) and other 1:1 communication apps like Marco Polo and Slack.
I’ll still be blogging regularly, and I am so excited to continue reading (and have a bit more time to read) the blogs and newsletters of friends and people I look up to! Blogs, newsletters, and websites seem to be this dusty ol’ frontier of e-communicating, but they’re still there and still updated by most of the people and platforms I want to keep in touch with!
Some of these blogs are:
The Small Things blog (I’m really gonna miss Kate on IG every day!)
I’m also excited to keep listening to regular podcasts! Here are some of my favorites:
And I’ll still be watching some of my favorite vloggers (a new 2020 indulgence) on YouTube!
What I’m excited about:
Aside from having more time to read and listen to people online with more intention, there is so much I’m excited about and hoping for in the coming year.
I’m excited to be looking at my phone less and looking at my husband and daughter more.
I’m excited to live my life without the 4th wall. In theater, the 4th wall is the invisible wall of the stage that the actors face and the audience looks in. I can’t help but feel like social media enhances this pressure that our everyday lives need to be something impressive or interesting to our audience, and if not, we are less significant in some way. We don’t need to be making “content” out of our real lives all the time - we just need to be living our lives with as much intention, integrity, presence, and joy as we can, because our selves and our lives are limited.
I’m hopeful that I’ll use the extra time to read actual books, both ones sitting on my bookshelf and ones I want to check out or purchase.
I’m hopeful that I’ll be renewed in creative freedom, instead of constantly comparing myself to other people.
I’m excited to do something I know helps lessen bouts of anxiety and depression.
I’m excited to use precious margin time to focus on my copywriting clients with Otherlove and personal writing clients.
I’m excited to have to be more intentional to call, text, email, Marco Polo, or snail mail people when they pop into my head, instead of just clicking over to their Insta account to see what they’ve been up to.
What I’m nervous about:
Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous and sad, too!
I’m sad that I’ll miss out on my family members’ posts, especially stories of my nieces and nephews.
I’m nervous that I won’t be able to show my support to friends as readily because I might be unaware of something they are doing or accomplishing.
To be really honest, I’m afraid of being forgotten and obsolete to people.
In general, I’m nervous about just being out of touch.
I’m also nervous about how this might affect my copywriting inquiries. I know how important it is to be active and visible on social media to attract potential clients.
The bottom line is, I know it will be worth it to just accept the invitation God is giving me. When I’ve done that in the past, I’ve never been let down, and I’ve always received more than I hoped for.
2021, I know you have such good things in store, and I’m here (and hopefully more present) for it!
If you want to stay in touch with my updates here in real-time, I suggest two things: subscribe to my blog (click that link & scroll down for the form) and subscribe to my newsletter, the Kindreds Gazette. I post simple things like what I’m loving lately and trips we’ve taken, and meatier stuff that I’ve been thinking through, like embracing conflict in our relationships or dealing with miscarriage and infertility.
And as always, I LOVE to read your comments here - you can even heart a post just like Insta if you want to show your support but don’t have time to comment! My email is always open (sam@samantharaywriting.com). If you have copywriting needs, I’m here as your neighborhood word nerd and small biz strategist! And if you have a post of your own that you want to share, my Kindreds series is always looking for fresh, passionate female voices!
If you have a blog, comment on this post with your link - I wanna read & stay in touch!
All my love and hopes for a beautiful, redemptive 2021, friends.
Sam
