6 Months Social Media Free! Update

I was chatting with two of my closest friends the other day, and they were discussing some of their own plans to spend extended time off of social media. They have great reasons why they feel ready, and understandable reasons why they feel hesitant (especially as business owners).

They asked me what the hardest things have been about my intentional year off of social media.

I’ve wanted to be very transparent in my little social-media-free-life updates over the last six months — you can check those out here (I’m Taking A Year Off, 1 Month Update, 3 Month Update, I’ve Never Felt More Beautiful).

What I can say for certain is that the benefits of unplugging for an extended time FAR OUTWEIGH the negatives. But there are difficult things that have come up that are a little more nuanced.

I’ve felt out of the loop — with family, close friends, and the extended friend “net” of those I don’t ever interact with in real life.

(+ this has forced me to make phone calls, send texts, write notes, invite others in, and ask for help in a more intentional way than I’ve ever been used to. And that is a huge positive in my life!)

I’ve felt forgotten, obsolete, and somehow knocked down the rung of being seen as important.

(+ this has led me to ask myself hard questions — what is the value of being seen, impressive, or liked, by those in my actual real life and those who aren’t? What is the point? What does “important” actually look like in his one life we have — how do I truly define importance and significance, in action? I’ve been simmering a lot on those types of questions every day.)

I’ve felt out of control of how people perceive me (not that it’s ever really in our control, but social media is a very real, seemingly effortless way of trying!)

(+ gulp! Real talk! This has led to some enhanced feelings of insecurity when I see people IRL that I haven’t seen in a while.)

Things like birthdays, gatherings, trips, stages of pregnancy, and home life are largely unseen and unrecognized.

(+ I want to be seen! I want to be loved! LOL!)

Sigh.

I know some of this sounds trite. But I am trying to be honest and precise about how I feel in this very moment.

Isn’t it a strange world we live in? That not being on a technological platform that exists on our phones could affect how worthy you feel or don’t feel? How relevant, or interesting, or important you feel?

I know the root of the issue isn’t that I’ve actually been missing out, because I don’t honestly feel like I have. I feel like I’ve been very present, very here, very plugged into flesh-and-blood real life!

It’s more like a bitter taste — we’ve built a whole culture that creates, or at the very least lends itself to, false realities that have real emotional effects!

It spans ages, races, belief systems, and generations.

But when I take a step back and look around me with my real eyes, at my real life, here’s what I know:

Real life, real flesh-and-blood life, feels grounding, clarifying, and satisfying for me.

That’s the thing I want to spend my actual time and effort on.

That’s the bank I want to invest my feelings of worthiness into.

I rarely battle with anxiety these days, and when I take a step back and look at that, I see it as a huge gift of this year so far. It had been a huge struggle for me over the last several years.

I feel more certain of myself, more willing to laugh big, talk about things I want to, and freely ask about others’ lives (because I have no idea what’s been going on with them if I don’t!)

I’m not inundated with all the reasons why I NEED to care about this subject or that subject — and if I don’t, I’m ignorant, hateful, privileged, “the problem”, etc. It is all over social media, about ALL sorts of things! And it’s overwhelming even in small bites! I want to invite these educations and convictions to come out of my real relationships!

I’m not inundated with the latest fashion — hip ways to dress, subjects to talk about (and how to talk about them), how my home could look way cooler, or how I could take pictures of my life to make it look put together. Or, how to post about #reallife messes/squabbles/tears, and then feel really good about all the likes I get in return. #awkwardsmile

The reality is, others are playing by different social rules than I am right now. And after a while, that does feel tough.

Do I miss instantaneous ways of feeling better about myself, more affirmed, through posting and people liking it? To be honest, yes.

But I’m gonna wrestle with that for a while. I want to.

I want to ask myself the hard questions. I want to look at my own heart and motives, just me and Jesus. I want to look at my deeply rooted issues — ones that are easier to ignore when I’m eating the Instagram buffet every day.

That doesn’t make me better than anyone else choosing something different for their season.

It makes me a little more honest with myself, and I like that about her.

Here I am at 30 weeks! (32 weeks currently!)

As always, I’m here for your thoughts! Chat with me below!

What are your thoughts on social media, its effect on the culture we live in, and taking a break?

With real, messy life, just like all of us,

Sam

P.S. Maybe you’re not ready for an extended social media break, but you know you could use some tips on how to keep it in check. I’ve got you! Check out How to Take A Social Media Break and Creating Balanced Rhythms with Your Tech!