Life Lately - From Harvest Heart to Holiday Heart

This is exactly what I needed today.

I’ve been pacing around the house, heart aflutter with something like anxiety, trying to figure out our current pace of life.

You know that feeling? The kids are with Grammy for 2 hours, so I’ve gotta gogogo and makethemostofit and getitalldone and planalloflife.

The last few months have felt like quickly-paced rhythms with constantly shifting sands.

And as one who has had run-ins with more severe anxiety, I can feel myself grasping at even the smallest of routines for a sense of calm.

An early bedtime. A comfort show at the end of the day. A cup of good coffee mid-morning. Taking my vitamins.

You know, huge wins.

To clarify, it hasn’t been all bad stuff shifting around, but lots of good stuff! And normal stuff-of-life stuff.

To put it plainly:

• Our kids got kicked out of their preschool (not exactly normal BUT a good heart check — we have “alternative” beliefs on some, er, childhood health requirements shall I say?) so I’ve been re-evaluating what I really want my life to look like while my kids are this little.

• John jumped from his full-time job to our next dream entrepreneur endeavor. I’m excited to share more about that soon!

• I’ve been recording with Jess and getting ready to release music (photoshoots and marketing plans et al) and of course I’ll keep you updated here.

• I’ve been trying to go to bed at a decent hour, which isn’t always easy when those moments after the kids go to bed feel like my only “me” time.

• We’ve still been slowly cracking away at our home, and making it feel more homey and furnished. This is slow goings, friends, and I’m trying to be patient with myself, John, and our surroundings.

• Plus all the normal tasks of keeping family going — 3 meals a day, all the planning and cooking and cleaning therein, laundry, organizing, planning, social events, church, etc etc.

All that to say, I think I really needed to let myself create and share some thoughts with you today. Penpal style!

So, penpal, how have you been lately?

We’re here at November, already. Can you believe it?

It’s always this time of year that brings a familiar comfort and familiar tinge of stress as we look down the last stretches of hill before we hit the bottom of the year, like a kid running, tripping, rolling, and hopefully laughing down a big grassy knoll.

We all know it could also end up in tears and band-aids instead, but that’s what I’m aiming to avoid : )

Every year around this time I ask myself how I can make the holidays more simple, more intentional, and more full of real rest.

It’s not impossible. But it doesn’t happen like that on its own. We have to shape it (wrangle it? strangle-hold it?) and mold it that way.

I’m a person of ideals. I always have been. My head is regularly in the clouds, envisioning idyllic scenes of simplicity and wellness and joy. It’s kind of a good and healthy thing for me, because it gives me a vision to shoot for, and to plan my attitudes and activities by.

And what isn’t in my visions of idyllic holiday times is anxiety, burn-out, financial overwhelm, activity overwhelm, feelings of obligation, people-pleasing, and having to “measure up” to someone else’s vision of the season.

I leave grace for those things because they happen naturally, I know. But I can assert more self-control now, at the onset of the season, and ask for God’s help, wisdom, and grace.

What I envision is something like this:

I want to go back to small, simple gifts that are handmade or carefully picked out. A jar of local honey and a loaf of fresh bread.

I want to go back to Christmas as seeing people who often go unseen, giving to those who have less, being a part of your community, and seeing and thanking those people around you who are your people.

I want to keep the main thing really the main thing: retelling the story of the foundation of our faith, the God-man we believe in, the miracle of Holy God with us, in love, in our humanity. Infusing those moments into each day of the season. Settling in there, like cozying up on the couch.

To pour into having inviting and hospitable hearts and homes.

I know that sounds trite, but it’s true. How can we take some pressure off the table?

The stuff pressure. The perfect activities pressure. The full schedule pressure.

I love a Christmas atmosphere but I dislike clutter. And the reality is, the way we do Christmas is a clutter of all the senses. I quickly get burnt out on that, so I try to save the seasonality of it all for on or just after Thanksgiving.

Yes, I’m one of those people!

I love this precious in-between moment of the seasons.

It kind of reminds me of those first moments after you wake up in the morning. Those are moments for ideals, and you don’t get a redo until the next day.

I don’t want to go straight to my phone or to thinking about my to-do list. I want to be slow, to invite calm, and to do something, read something, or listen to something sacred. Scripture. Music. A huge glass of ice water followed by a hot mug of lemon water or broth.

That’s how I think of November. A sacred still moment, easily passed by for excitement, activity, and busyness, easily skipped for the “best parts” of the day.

November is harvest heart to holiday heart.

It’s an estuary of brackish waters of our yearly rhythms. Not quite the excitement of a fresh fall anymore, with leaves strewn about past peak and branches displaying their recent losses, and not quite the fullness of Christmas, when you can indulge freely into the classic songs, comforting foods, gift wrapping, and tree- trimming.

It’s still and quiet, but humming with life.

I want to reflect that towards myself, embracing the stillness with humming life, a healthy holding back, a quiet and intentional planning.

An embracing of the moments too quickly passed by.

And I want to reflect that in my home and for my family.

I think I’ll leave it at that for now, my friends. I am currently active over on Instagram, mostly sharing a peek into very normal life moments for me. And sending hilarious videos to my besties. Being active there has helped me get a feel for the platform again, which will help when I begin to release music in a couple of weeks.

What are your thoughts on November? What are your hopes for the holiday season?

I’m all ears, and a cozy safe place to share your stream-of-consciousness thoughts if you need a listening ear!

Sending you all my love,

Sam