Hi fam <3 Happy 2023!

Yes, it’s February, but I kind of indulge in allowing January to be a quiet, hidden month at the start of my year.

How have you been?

I really do love a fresh start.

While my life in this season doesn’t quite allow for the same level of life-overhaul goals as it might once have, I still get giddy over an invitation to think about my life, listen to God, and envision simple shifts as well as dream wild dreams.

From our gals weekend in January <3 Me and my best friends of 20 years!

2022 Thoughts

Last year was one of stretching and breaking. And then stretching more, and breaking more. I have loved learning that I am much stronger and more capable than I ever could have imagined. I have also loved learning the importance of knowing my neediness all over again.

The need for friendships. For opening up. For community. For family.

The need to ask for help, and the need to help myself intentionally however I can.

I restarted counseling/therapy, I joined the worship community at church, and I told my friends the truth about how hard things were — learning to be a mom of 2 very littles, working (and be ok with not working), moving homes amidst all of this, marriage after 10 years, strained familial relationships, and all the many things life brings.

Stretching and breaking has been hard, but not bad. It has meant being made stronger, truer, and clearer. And for that I’m grateful!

I spent half the year totally off social media, and the other half reintroducing myself to that world, pace, and culture. Interesting.

We moved homes, John started businesses, and I spent most of the year stealing away to Jess’ home studio to record songs that have built up over the last 6 years or so.

It has felt very fast and full, and that’s the way it has had to be in this season of life.

My word for last year was Righteousness. I could cry a little writing that, because I mostly felt far away from the way of relating to God that I’ve spent most of my life knowing and understanding. No long mornings in scripture and my journal. Less freedom to have long, rich conversations with friends about what we’ve been hearing or learning from God. Less being known for my faith.

More crying children, interrupted conversations, and being known for… I don’t know what.

I haven’t felt necessarily far away from God Himself, just the ways I would normally default to being with Him. What that looks like and feels like is different. It’s not bad, and I’m learning.

What about you?

2023

My hopes for this year are pretty simple.

I want to feel happier day-to-day, which I know majorly rests in my own perspectives, self-control, and simple steps of caring for myself when and how I can in this season.
I want to enjoy more getaways. By myself (1 night, every quarter), with John (2 nights, 2 times a year), and with our family (we already do lots of this!)
I want to release my new album! Like, the whole thing! I’ve been recording since January of 2022, released my first single Romantic in November, a Christmas cover in December, and release my second single from the album in just a couple of weeks.
Settle into our home more. We moved in August, and we’ve definitely made progress making the home feel more like us, but there’s lots more to do. The challenges, always, are time (to source, pick up, set up) and money! Some specific projects are finishing our upstairs bonus room with appropriate furnishings and layers for our office set up and a music corner.
I want to get better at taking care of my cars! John has 2 work trucks, and we also have 2 family vehicles (the big one with the car seats, and the little one used for scooting around if one finds themselves without the kiddos). I want to take more ownership to clean the inside and outside of the family cars regularly, get oil changes, and handle whatever maintenance needs that come up.

There are a few other fun things in the works, which I’ll be sure to spill all about here very soon.

Look at these little darlings : ) Griffin turns 3 in just a couple of months!

A word to meditate on this year

I really struggled with this concept this year, and to be fair, I don’t think you need to do anything at the new year if it’s not really connecting to your heart — you don’t have to have a word or goals or intentions. Sometimes you’re just thankful to get from this day to the next, and that’s good.

My SIL/bestie gifted me with a mini retreat staying at her Airbnb, complete with childcare arrangements and food. Time away to myself? To do whatever I want?? What a gift!

Although I packed an assortment of things I could do (guitar, planner, journal, yoga mat, books) I really only had one hope for my night away — hear from God. Like I said, that’s been pretty challenging for me this year, and I knew it was what I truly needed for my refreshment.

So of course, in my last hour at the airbnb (I am nothing if not a very talented procrastinator) I sat on the couch with my Bible and my journal. And I just sat. I laid back and took deep breaths. And then I just started talking — God, I need to hear from you. I don’t care what it is. I just need to see you. Help me.

It came slow, like the warmth of the air when the sun comes up above the trees on a chilly morning. The thing I needed most to hear, and to feel, from God was that I am lovable.

Lovable.

Even know as I type it I struggle to believe it. It prickles me a little bit.

But in that moment, when I heard it and I felt it, I just cried. Jesus is so kind, and so much softer and more involved than I think him to be amongst my day-to-day.

So I don’t really know what to do with that this year, except to meditate on it, chew on it and dwell in it. Dwell with Jesus in that beautiful, reassuring word — I am lovable.

That insinuates a sense of being enjoyed and delighted in — of being liked — as much as being loved. That it’s easy.

Our Christmas card pic - Thank you Brent of Live View Studios!

A Planner

I love planners. Every year I take pains to find and purchase just the right one, and believe me, I roll my eyes at myself for how long this decision takes each time! This year I landed on the Full Focus planner, and there are already several pros and cons that have come up.

I love how detailed it is, that it incorporates goals, and that every week there is a checkin that really helps keep a pulse on how I’m doing and how goals are progressing.

I don’t love that it only includes 3 months!!! I felt totally bamboozled and I don’t think I’ll spend the money to purchase another 3 months. Not only is it pricey but I dislike the waste of all that paper! 4 planners in 1 year? No thanks.

What planner did you land on this year?

Me and my little love, Smith. He’s 1.5 and growing spunkier every day

My 2023 Vision Board

I’ve loved making vision boards for as long as I can remember, both the magazine/scissors/glue kind and the Pinterest kind! I’m a hugely visual person and sometimes images just capture an essence, an emotion, or a sense of value that I long for or want to cultivate.

For some good chuckles you can check out my earliest Pinterest year vision board (2016 baby!), and also my current one, which I always leave as a work in progress the whole year! They make great time capsules for me.

My 2023 Vision Board!

Link to yours in the comments! I want to see!!