5 Ways to Thrive in a Waiting Season

Are you in a waiting season in some part of your life? Maybe you’re waiting for a new job opportunity, a new living situation, a new turn of events in a difficult situation, for healing, for your spouse to come along, or for your children to come along. Maybe you’re waiting for breakthrough in a relationship, or to hear from God.

Waiting seasons happen in all of our lives. It can be painful and even isolating. It can chip away at our belief system, and our hope can feel like an empty (or broken) cup.

Many of you know my story of waiting. During our five years praying and waiting to get (and stay) pregnant, I became very familiar with the landscape of what that season looks and feels like. After going down some less-than-helpful roads in that landscape, and ending up in places I didn’t want to be (total burnout, hopelessness, depression, anger towards God), I had to relearn so many things.

I had to learn to let go, be still, to be needy, to own my neediness, to be vulnerable, to believe in God’s goodness again, and to hear Him again.

And I had to learn not just to survive the waiting, but how to thrive in it.

There is life in waiting seasons. There is worship. I am convinced that trusting God in a waiting season (even if it doesn’t look squeaky clean or picture perfect) is the sweetest smelling fragrance of worship to God. There can be peace, laughter, breakthrough, and all sorts of healing while you’re still waiting for something.

Here are some of the gems I discovered and have clung to through learning how to thrive during a waiting season.

Lean into Friendships

One of the hardest parts of my waiting was feeling really alone. Of course my friends couldn’t readily understand what I was going through or feeling, because they hadn’t experienced anything like it themselves. Also, I was hesitant to talk about it because I didn’t want to be a downer or an inconvenience in those relationships. Because I wasn’t talking about it, they were hesitant to ask.

The truth is, your friends are there for you even in your worst of moments. When you talk to them about how you’re feeling (however messy it is), they gain understanding and can begin to empathize with you. Of course, friendships are always two ways, so don’t forget to ask how they’re doing, too. But the point is, ask for help from them. Be honest with them about where you are. The good ones will stick around, follow up, let you cry, and listen to you.

Embrace Vulnerability

I feel like one of the great shams of “adulthood” is not needing others or not needing help - just complete independence. That’s a big pile of you-know-what, and it’s still something I am unlearning! When I was deep in my waiting season with no foreseeable light at the end of the tunnel, I could no longer hide my emotions. I would cry at the drop of a hat and then feel so ashamed about it. I couldn’t focus during conversations because I was trying so hard to hide.

If you’re deep in waiting, embrace being vulnerable with others. Being brave to share, however briefly or in-depth, is not only healing for you, but helpful for those listening. It gives them a contextual understanding of where you are in life, more empathy, and better language to use while they try to love people in difficult situations.

Our default is to hide while waiting, but I encourage you to come out of hiding and just be truthful about where you are!

Honor your Emotions

In the same vain, I encourage you to make space for and to honor your real, raw emotions. Especially if you grew up with Christian values or straight-laced ideas of what it means to be proper or polite, you might have (as I did) this idea that certain emotions are “bad,” or that emotions in general should have no place in your process.

I had this horrible sense of shame because I was so angry during my waiting season. I was ashamed of feeling depressed (because depression is weakness and icky), and I just wanted my emotions to be “fixed.” The deeper I pushed those emotions down, the worse they became! Can I tell you something? God isn’t offended by our emotions. Other people might be, but He isn’t. In fact, Jesus (who was God walking around in the human experience) can absolutely understand what it’s like, because he was a human and felt all the feelings!

Emotions need space to flow out of our souls and bodies in healthy ways. Speaking them out, writing them down, talking really candidly to a friend, or in any way honestly acknowledging them helps to give them space to be. Don’t avoid them or push them away, just let them be for a moment. This opens up space for us to gain understanding surrounding the emotion (and usually get to a more root emotion feeding it), and space for those emotions to move on out.

Hunt for Gold

It can be easy to let your waiting cast a shadow on the rest of your life. And by all means, there will be some days that can’t be avoided, and it’s best to just feel your feelings. But instead of camping out there, I urge you to keep your eyes and heart open for the really real, really good stuff still right in front of your face during this time.

Remember, the season you are in is a season you were eagerly waiting for at some point! There might be a difficulty, but there is still so much gold right where you are. Never underestimate the power of cultivating a spirit of gratitude during your waiting season. Name those things you are thankful for out loud! Write them down every day.

Make note of your inner mind chatter, and the things you’re telling yourself. If it is stuck in a downward spiral of inner talk, start disciplining your thoughts toward the gold. It could be something like, “I’m feeling sad, and that’s ok. Even though I’m sad, I’m thankful for cozy blankets and snuggles from my pet. I feel sad but I know I am loved.” It is powerful!

Live the Life You Dreamed Of

Waiting in one part of your life doesn’t mean you have to be in wait in all parts of your life. Don’t treat your life progress like dominos - like one block needs to fall so all the rest can, too. That’s just not the truth! Keep dreaming, hoping, and taking risks. If you want to start a business, make music, host a Bible study, or go on a trip, you have permission to do those things. Do be cautious, because sometimes a lot of doing can become a vice we use to avoid hurt. But also, you don’t have to sit around waiting for your next life stage to arrive for any sense of progress or happiness.

I hope these reminders give you some extra fortitude as you traverse the landscape of your own waiting season. If you have anything to add, please comment below!

I love you and am here if you ever need someone to talk to!

Sam